fuck a lot

Hopefully I’ll feel better after this.
So, I’m planning on checking out a camera or audio recorder from AV today. Actually in less than an hour because if I don’t then dun dun dun.
I really have been feeling like crap today. I know it’s because I haven’t been getting any love. My mom is putting money in my account tomorrow so thankfully I can send that fucking DVD to France and receive some love. I woke up for the third time this morning feeling horrible because I won’t ever be held the same way again. Why am I not French?
I now always and forever hate my life. I feel like I should just go to Berkeley and lay out in the street. I have so much shit I have to do but somehow just don’t do it. I’m pathetic. Maybe I should make a list! OK!
1. Get the fucking number of the SSD lady off my email
2. Call the fucking lady
3. Make an appointment with that fucking lady
4. Talk to her
5. Make fucking flashcards
6. Make more fucking flashcards
7. Lay out in the street
List is finished. Maybe I should just think about how I’m going to have my mom’s CAR soon!!!!!!! Whooo. Fuck, that means I’ll be going crazy!!!! When are my finals again?
The first one is calculus; I think it’s on Saturday. Then I have ones on the seventh and the ninth. But I also have to drive back either on the tenth or eleventh because that is when my mom is getting her tummy tuck. Fuck. Don’t get your hopes up too much. I’ll have more fun in Ukiah anyway.
If I had a car this whole time then I would like my life a whole lot more. Why do I always do this to myself?
This weekend should be a lot of fun. Because I’ll have money. I’ll go lay out in the street now.