are you going to call me and is it late yet?? is it time for me to start thinking about calling you because i can't get enough of your love i can't i want some more. i'm watching grey's anatomy it's making me think of old times in olney in alicia's room. i'm so sick and tired of waiting for him to call me and i guess it's getting late now.
i have a shirt with a lot of lace that i put in the dryer and now the lace is burnt. i have a boyfriend that i've kept at an arm's length away for ever and what he loves even more than being with me is being himself. with him by my side i could have become everything i've ever wanted.
i look up to him and at another time i hope i could have been more like him. all these times i think he's never coming back and wouldn't even say goodbye but that's only because he think's i'm strong, right?
Friday, March 21, 2008
burden, a problem
i just got back home with some spiced rum. tonight my mom won't be coming come. i wish i could have hung out with my brother a bit longer but he has other things to do.
nick was just about the most annoying person to me this morning. he called me last night asking if he could take me to breakfast but when he got here this morning he had changed his mind. i guess i cared since i was hungry. i'm so annoyed with him though,t because i asked him if he wanted to do something outdoors and he seriously said, "i'm a chiller that chills". nothing could be more annoying coming from him slumped over in my bedroom.
damn it. i just hope i get a call from my man tonight. i'm really missing his everythings.
and when he comes to pick me up i'll be thinking here is my new love rolling down my street. and when i look to him he'll see me and smile. only i know he'll just start to drive away when all i want is for him to put it in park and hold my face like he did and then kiss me like he did. the way he pulls on the skin of my lips with his. how his tounge makes its way into my mouth but quickly darts out.
i'm interested in his thoughts between the time when he lets go of me and then smacks my ass.
oh baby, couldn't tonight be our night to reunite? couldn't you hold me again tonight?
or we can do something completely different, anything new. i'm pushed my new love tonight.
nick was just about the most annoying person to me this morning. he called me last night asking if he could take me to breakfast but when he got here this morning he had changed his mind. i guess i cared since i was hungry. i'm so annoyed with him though,t because i asked him if he wanted to do something outdoors and he seriously said, "i'm a chiller that chills". nothing could be more annoying coming from him slumped over in my bedroom.
damn it. i just hope i get a call from my man tonight. i'm really missing his everythings.
and when he comes to pick me up i'll be thinking here is my new love rolling down my street. and when i look to him he'll see me and smile. only i know he'll just start to drive away when all i want is for him to put it in park and hold my face like he did and then kiss me like he did. the way he pulls on the skin of my lips with his. how his tounge makes its way into my mouth but quickly darts out.
i'm interested in his thoughts between the time when he lets go of me and then smacks my ass.
oh baby, couldn't tonight be our night to reunite? couldn't you hold me again tonight?
or we can do something completely different, anything new. i'm pushed my new love tonight.
it's too bad
too bad tomorrow's friday. i just wish that he would have called me tonight. i just wish that this could have been the night that he would makeout with me. maybe tomorrow night? i hope so because i'm starting to fade away from his love.
since i've been thinking about what it would actually be like to live with him, i haven't been feeling it. i actually disagree with my mom about her idea to move in with her new boyfriend, i don't really feel moving in with mine. besides, mine has not even asked me about it. i could say that i have to leave this town or we have to be together. i could just go tell daller ayz that i've been in love with his bestest friend since the moment i saw his face. and then i would have to tell him that i not only feel in love with him, but i also became him and everything he's ever wanted to be and my life is forever changed since that moment.
now could i tell him i could never imagine my life as a single young woman without the pressing feeling of him following me everywhere like a shadow. could i ever tell him how much he has opened me up, cracked me open like a nut or an egg but left the pieces of me to rot inside that shell, leaving me open and somehow empty because his bestest buddy never cleaned up his mess?
maybe i could tell him just about the pillow i made for him out of my fleece blanket. he said he wanted another pillow, one that wasn't so big and i made it for him and i thought of something to accomidate his needs once again. could i tell you about all the other times i've done that since he seems to leave them open for me to mend lately and when he asks me something i keep up with the pattern and end up sounding like a roadie on his bandwagon.
i'd love for him to fall for me as hard as i did, but i don't think it's possible after how available i've made my love.
couldn't he have just called me so i woun't be so lonely for his bright eyes in the morning or the sound of his throat clearing or his hard toss to the left as he picks up both his hips and reachs back with is right hand.
by the way, what is a long term relationship?
since i've been thinking about what it would actually be like to live with him, i haven't been feeling it. i actually disagree with my mom about her idea to move in with her new boyfriend, i don't really feel moving in with mine. besides, mine has not even asked me about it. i could say that i have to leave this town or we have to be together. i could just go tell daller ayz that i've been in love with his bestest friend since the moment i saw his face. and then i would have to tell him that i not only feel in love with him, but i also became him and everything he's ever wanted to be and my life is forever changed since that moment.
now could i tell him i could never imagine my life as a single young woman without the pressing feeling of him following me everywhere like a shadow. could i ever tell him how much he has opened me up, cracked me open like a nut or an egg but left the pieces of me to rot inside that shell, leaving me open and somehow empty because his bestest buddy never cleaned up his mess?
maybe i could tell him just about the pillow i made for him out of my fleece blanket. he said he wanted another pillow, one that wasn't so big and i made it for him and i thought of something to accomidate his needs once again. could i tell you about all the other times i've done that since he seems to leave them open for me to mend lately and when he asks me something i keep up with the pattern and end up sounding like a roadie on his bandwagon.
i'd love for him to fall for me as hard as i did, but i don't think it's possible after how available i've made my love.
couldn't he have just called me so i woun't be so lonely for his bright eyes in the morning or the sound of his throat clearing or his hard toss to the left as he picks up both his hips and reachs back with is right hand.
by the way, what is a long term relationship?
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