i've just been feeling so lonley today. i'm waiting for someone to call my best friend, someone who calls me to hang out. i'm sad about it because it always seems like everyone has so much going on and i'm not included. i just wanted to be part of a group or something...
if i had a house...
if i had a boat...
if i had a car...
would my "friends" really want to be friends with me as much as i want to be with them?
i'm just wondering who has thought of me today?
i just called brad and he answered after not answering my two phone calls yesterday. he said he was busy right then and asked if he could call me back. yeah, he's busy. i wish i felt busy. i wish i had someone who would love to hang out with me. i wish i didn't like anybody just like everybody acts like they don't like me.
i'm needy i guess that's probably why i'm not needed.
i think what's really breaking my heart is all the time and energy i spent on jesse and i'm really feeling all this coming to a close. it's been six days now since i told him i didn't want to see him anymore. i thought i would regret it and i guess this is just me regretting it.
why does everything else seem like it doesn't matter unless i feel loved? why does it feel like i'll never have that bond with another person that i'm longing for?
if things don't start to get better very soon, i swear i think i'm going to kill my heart. i just feel so lonley.
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